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Weanne Myrrh. 20. Filipina Seventh-day Adventist.

Past Posts

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Saturday, May 9
La UNdolce Vita

Okay, so here’s another confession

I’m not sweet.

Yup, the girl who owns a blog with the name “Sugar and Spice, Everything Nice” has recently realized that she has been incredibly hypocritical all this time. It has just come to her attention that sugar requires sweetness. And sweetness just doesn’t come easily for her.

Fairly predictable for a girl who claims to be numb. (Numb and unsweetened – I’m quite a catch, eh?)

I guess I was just never born with the sugar gene. Let me give a prime example.

Some girls: “Kumain ka na poh ah. Ayoko pong nagugutom ang *insert baduy term of affection here* koh. Eto oh, subo… Ahhhh… Miss na poh talaga kita, **baduy term of affection.** koh. mmmmmmmwaaaahugz!” (Seriously, gag me.)

My best attempt at sweetness:
Haha tara kaon na… haha ingat lagi… miss ko narin kayo… haha ang kire… haha…

I mean, I’m nice and all, but sugary brown sweetness just isn’t my color. Mushy displays of affection raise my eyebrows, corny pet names (i.e. bhe, sweetie, sexy, honey bunch, muffin, cookie, mommy, daddy, baby, luvz) only serve to amuse me, and I won’t be caught dead adding “H” at the end of every other word (i.e. poh, koh). I’ll tease you, hit you, or give you food to show my oh-so-passionate luuuvv, but you won’t catch me dripping syrupy words from my mouth. It doesn’t help that I belong to a barkada who only use the word “po” strictly when talking to a real older person and not just to make pacute, friends who can’t say the word “baby” without affecting an Austin Powers/Mike Myers accent (beybehhhhh!), friends who would much rather call each other “bruha” and “kire” rather than “bhezie.”

Hey, moment of enlightenment here. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend! (Hahaha leave it to me to find an excuse for my NBSB status every chance I get…Haha…) It’s just that I read somewhere that all guys fall for sweet girls. Aruy. At this rate, I’ll still be an NBSB by the time I’m 80. Haha… Makes me wish there was some secret formula you could look up on the internet that converts the actual glucose in your blood to real, feel-able, pukeworthy sweetness.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against sweet people. You guys rock. Hahaha… You wear your heart on your sleeve. Meanwhile, I’m still figuring out whether I have a heart or not. Haha joke. I do have a heart, I think. I’m learning. It just doesn’t come easy.

So yeah. I’m not sweet. So sue me.